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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998219">hearts beat together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvlse/pseuds/pvlse'>pvlse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>League of Legends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, gurl what other tags do i put ive never done this before, i am trying my best</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:55:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvlse/pseuds/pvlse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>two brothers torn apart pick up what pieces are left after a millennia adrift. </p>
<p>a nasus and renekton fanfic i decided to make just for fun</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nasus &amp; Renekton (League of Legends)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everywhere I look.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It is in my eyes. My mouth. My nose. My lungs. I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>I can help you</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> a voice says. It is a beautiful voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Such a beautiful voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>No</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> a little voice in my mind says. </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Don’t trust the voice</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the voice is so beautiful...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Yes</em>, </span>
  <span class="s1">the beautiful voice says. </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Trust me, my friend. I can save you</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Do not</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> the little voice tells me.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I trust the little voice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” I say to the beautiful voice. Or I try to say. The sand fills my mouth and steals my words before they leave my lips. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Do you not trust me?</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1"> The beautiful voice asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I cannot respond. My mouth is full of sand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The beautiful voice knows, though. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Nobody else can save you. Only me. Your brother has abandoned you. He wants you dead. I can save you. I can help you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rage courses through my veins at the mention of the word “brother”. From somewhere, I smell blood. I want to taste it. Spill it. Spill my brother’s blood.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>No</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> the little voice says again. </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Remember who you are</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And just like that, my rage ebbs away. The little voice is very powerful.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But who am I again?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I try to remember. I cannot. My head is full of sand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">A shame you have to die, Renekton</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">, the beautiful voice says.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> I do not want to die.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the sand is everywhere. I feel it filling up my lungs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...wake up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I am sitting upright on a bed in a sparsely furnished room. Moonlight filters through a window nearby. There is no sand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To be sure, I take a deep breath. I can breathe. There is no sand in my lungs. I can breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Where am I? Who am I? I look at my hands and realize they are claws. My arms are scaly. Why are they scaly?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I feel strange. As if I had been drowning and someone pulled me up. I feel like I can breathe again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can breathe again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I try to remember who I am.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sand from the dream may have disappeared but there is still sand in my head. I dig through it. Shards of memory, buried like lost treasure, resurface. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Immediately I feel a searing pain in my head. I scream, and a guttural roar escapes my lips. I dig my fingers(claws?) into my head. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The memories hurt. They are painful. I only see flashes- nothing clear. I see two boys playing in the desert sand. I see a sick, frail man in the arms of a big, muscular man. The muscular man is walking into the sun. </span>
  <span class="s2">Is that me? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I see two beasts, a crocodile and a jackal, but they are not regular beasts. They are standing on their hind legs- no, they are men, but beasts. Beast men. I am momentarily confused, but the memory slips away before I can think more about it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly the pain returns, twice as worse, and I dig my claws into my skull again. A strangled, tortured sound leaves my mouth, not unlike the sound a fatally wounded animal makes as its life blood drains away. </span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Make it stop,</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">I scream out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But once again, my mouth is full of sand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The memories are coming, faster and faster. I cannot staunch the flow of memories, try as I might. A battle. Many battles. The jackal man. A strange being of pure blue energy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pain is unbelievable. I might be screaming. I can’t tell. The darkness hurts. I want to make it stop.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My vision turns red. I see the face of the jackal man, and my rage begins to mount. I hate the jackal man, I hate him with all my heart. I will kill him, I will butcher him, I will tear him limb to limb and I will rip his heart out of his body and eat it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My blood is pumping. Rage flows through me like a wildfire in a dry forest. I sniff the air. I smell him. I smell the jackal man. Nasus. His name is Nasus. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME, NASUS!” I roar. “I WILL FIND YOU, I WILL KILL YOU, I WILL GET MY REVENGE-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Revenge? Why do I want revenge?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em><span class="s2">He has wronged me</span><span class="s1">,</span></em> <span class="s1">I think. </span><em><span class="s2">That is why.</span></em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">No.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Something is wrong. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fury drains away from my body, leaving only confusion. <em>Who is Nasus?</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Who am I?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Renekton,” I say aloud. I don’t know what I said it. It’s not even a real word. But it sounds familiar.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Renekton. Renekton. Renekton.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is that my name?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Then who is Nasus?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">He is my brother,</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1"> I realize suddenly. In my mind’s eye, I see him. He is laughing, smiling. I hear another laugh, deeper and raspier. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is that my laugh?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I look down at my claws again. Very clearly they are not human. I think back to the crocodile man in my memories.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">That must be me,</span>
    <span class="s1"> I think.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I am Renekton. My brother is Nasus.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I wanted to kill Nasus.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Something is wrong.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Memories of Nasus are all associated with...something. A feeling. It feels warm. Like sunshine. It makes me happy. I like this feeling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If I like this feeling, why do I hate Nasus?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think of the words I roared out just a few moments ago, when I was screaming for my brother’s blood. They felt familiar. In fact, that state of bloodthirsty fury...it felt familiar, too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I am Renekton. Who is Renekton?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shakily, I climb out of the bed. A loincloth is all I am currently wearing. I feel my bare chest and feel scales. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">So I am the crocodile man.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I feel powerful, yet weak. Like there is ancient magic in my body, but my body has decayed into that of an old man. Only now do I realize I am exhausted, mentally. I wish I could stop thinking. But I can’t. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I walk up to the door of the room and attempt to turn the handle. Immediately, green symbols on either side of the door begin glowing. The door will not budge. The handle is also glowing green, for some strange reason.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I throw my full might against the door. It doesn’t budge. The door is made of wood, yet I cannot even dent it. In my head, I recognize the green symbols as runes of some sorts. Wards, perhaps.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Nasus would know</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> I thought.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, my legs give way. My whole body is trembling. I feel feverishly hot. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don’t have the strength to drag myself back to the bed. I slump down, my back against the door, and my eyes shut.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All I see is darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I feel claustrophobic. The dark is suffocating me. I feel around me with my hands and I feel nothing but air. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Welcome back</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1"> I hear the beautiful voice say. It does not sound as beautiful anymore. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">You were lucid for the first time in millennia. How did it feel, my sweet?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lucid? Millennia? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The beautiful voice chuckled. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">You didn’t answer my question.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silence.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Come on now</em>, </span>
  <span class="s1">the voice pouts.</span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2"> Don’t ignore me, Renekton. You used to be my best friend. You said so yourself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There is something wrong with the beautiful voice. It is too sweet, like overripe fruit. The syrupy tone of voice the beautiful voice uses makes the overripe fruit comparison even more fitting. I don’t like the voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Renekton, Renekton. You would leave your best friend like that?</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The voice is a liar. I know it is. I can tell.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">I will not be giving up on you, my sweet Renekton,</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1"> the voice purred. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">You are mine. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">You belong to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A searing pain burns through my head. It feels like my skull is being split open. I can’t scream. I can’t make a sound.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The voice begins to laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And all is black.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A shivering wind blows through the darkened corridor. Instinctively, I pull my cloak closer, even though I don’t feel cold. Grains of sand, swept up by the wind, scatter around the floor of the hallway.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I estimate the time to be about two hours past midnight. I have no watch, no way of telling what time it is, but I know, more or less. That means I have been sitting here, in this cold, dark hallway, for about four hours. In front of my spot on the floor is a door, the object of my nightly vigil.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My ears detect a noise, coming from somewhere undetermined. Perhaps it is another servant, sent by Azir to pester me about getting rest. He does not seem to understand me when I tell him that I have gone months without sleep in the past. I suppose I must forgive him for his lack of understanding. He has only been Ascended for a short period of time. Still,does not make his pestering is not any less irksome. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I look down the hallway, expecting to see a servant bearing a torch. Instead I see nothing. The hallway is empty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hear another noise. A faint, rustling sound. This time, I am able to identify what direction it came from. It didn’t come from either end of the hallway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It came from the other side of the door.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My heart begins to beat faster. Subconsciously, my hand drifts to the hauberk at my side. I have no need to fear; the door and the room within are enchanted with powerful runic magic. Still, instinct tells me to stay alert.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, a tortured scream pierces the silence of the night. The sound startles me at first. The screaming voice is so full of sheer, unfiltered pain. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I have spent eighteen nights sitting in front of this door, but on none of those nights has something like this ever happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I cover my ears. The scream is so awful. With every shriek, I feel daggers being plunged into my heart.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">He’s in pain. He’s hurting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">And all I can do is stand by.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He screams for my blood- threats of bloody violence and revenge- and I feel the daggers in my heart twist. It hasn’t been the first time he threatened violence against me, and it likely won’t be the last. But there’s something disconcerting about hearing a voice from you thought you knew, thought you loved, scream out for your death. Every rage-filled syllable pains me, every threat and promise of violence pulls me deeper into the vicious cycle of self-loathing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I know he cannot help himself. His mind is not entirely his own. His words hurt nonetheless.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, the threats stop abruptly, and I wonder why. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From the other side of the door, I can hear him say his name aloud.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Renekton.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sounds as if he is asking a question. As if he is uncertain.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of my brother inside that room, unsure of who he is or where he is, without anyone by his side, pains me even more than the threats. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My ear is now fully against the door. I breathe slowly; quietly, so as not to attract attention. I doubt he would’ve heard me. Renekton had not been the most observant person, even when he was in full control of his own mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a short delay, I hear footsteps. He is walking towards the door. Instinctively, I want to cry out. I want to say his name. I want to reassure him that everything will be okay. I want to say sorry, sorry for leaving him in the dark for a thousand years, for failing him so completely and thoroughly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But I stay quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing.When acting will only worsen a scenario, the wisest thing to do is to not act. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But what kind of older brother stands by while his younger brother suffers alone?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">The kind that leaves their younger brother sentenced to an eternity of darkness.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The doorknob rattles, and my heart leaps into my mouth. The protective runes around the door glow green, and the handle does not turn. Then, a thud, as something heavy- probably the crocodilian body of a certain Ascended- is thrown against the door. The door, had it not been enchanted, would likely hold little resistance to Renekton, should he try to break it down. But the glowing green runic symbols have rendered the entire room indestructible. I should know. I wrote those runes myself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My brother, driven to insanity, hell-bent on fratricide, is on the other side of that door, and all that protects me are some green symbols. I nearly let out a bitter chuckle, but I stay quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hear the sound of something heavy fall to the floor, slumping against the door as it hit the ground. My heartbeat quickens. What happened? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For what seems like an century, it is quiet. It feels like the whole world has been frozen in time, as I sit here, outside this door, trying to listen in on my brother on the other side, trying to figure out what happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I hear something.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A shaky, quiet voice. In the silence of the night, I can hear it as clear as the screaming and threats that came before.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The voice is unmistakeable. Raspy, reptilian. I have heard that voice many times in the past eighteen days, and much more in the distant past. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But never like this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Never so full of pain, vulnerability, and desperation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Heavy breathing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make it stop.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A scream, a sob, </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">something </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1">is building up in my throat and soon I won’t be able to hold it down anymore. I run, down the hallway, away from the green door and its pleading resident. I run down the twisting halls of the palace, through countless passageways and up countless flights of stairs. As I flee, I don’t realize my cheeks are damp, as tears flow unnoticed, uncontrolled from my eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I need to get out of here.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I find an open courtyard. I remember once it was beautiful, with flowers and trees and other exotic plants. Now, nothing remains save for chipped tiles, empty flowerbeds, and a lifeless fountain sitting at the center. The courtyard is depressing, but it’s open to the air and far, far away from that corridor.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There is a mosaic on the floor of the courtyard. It depicts a jackal-headed being and a crocodile-headed one standing side by side in triumph, as the sun’s blinding light shines from behind them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I cannot hold back the scream anymore, and it escapes my lips in a rush. I scream my pain, my self-loathing, my despair to the stars, and my heart screams with me. I scream until my voice gives out, as the black sky turns navy blue and the stars fade in the sun’s morning light.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
<hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Deep in the bowels of the palace, Renekton screams with Nasus, as he sits in a fetal position against the walls of his room with his claws digging into his skull. He pleads with his own mind, with his inner demons, to make the pain stop, to leave him alone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But they do not listen.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nobody hears the two brothers as they scream together, united by the pain they both share.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i do not know if i like this i may or may not delete + rewrite this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I found myself spending another joyless night standing vigil at the door with the green runes. I had come to detest this place; the atmosphere of this place was suffocating.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It had felt as if this corridor and its green door had drained life of all of its colours. I had no more interest in curating knowledge, nor any interest in obtaining it. And collecting knowledge was what I had been doing for the past thousand years. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I had no more meaning beyond this green door. Nothing except blind hope and prayers to whatever god was out there.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hallway was silent, as it now normally was. The screaming, the snarling, the wordless, animalistic cries had all died down in frequency over the last week. Part of me feared that behind the green door, Renekton was slowly dying, and thus falling quiet. Yet I had neither the bravery to unseal the runes nor the conviction in the belief that something was seriously wrong inside that green room.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, for the first time in many days, I felt my eyelids droop. That was new. Ascended could go months without the worldly needs of food, water and sleep, though it would be incredibly uncomfortable to say the least. Had my resilience as an Ascended weakened?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I tried to force myself to stay awake, to no avail. The sudden wave of drowsiness came rapidly, and I was powerless to stop it. When had I grown so tired?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And as I drifted into the soft twilight of sleep, I thought I heard a sound.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I awoke in a dream.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I knew it was a dream, though I could not tell how. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In my dreamscape, I was in the desert. The desert sun’s harsh rays beat down upon my brow as I looked around. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I was in a plaza. Something tragic had occurred here; all around me stood the blackened ruins of buildings. Much of the sand below my feet had been scorched into black glass. Evidence of human habitation lay all around me; the wreckage of market stalls, wagons, and assorted merchandise lay scattered around the open square. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though the plaza appeared empty, I sensed I was not alone. I tensed up, surveying my surroundings.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A shadow in one of the corners of the ruined plaza moved, and I nearly jumped before composing myself. I willed my weapon into existence- fortunately, I was not powerless in my own lucid dream- and turned to face the figure in the darkness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Out emerged a tall figure, standing at over nine feet. It was covered head to toe in scales. Its face was that of a crocodile’s, and it even had a tail. In its claw was a huge crescent blade.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took me a moment to realize that this was my brother.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We made eye contact, and I braced myself. For what exactly, I did not know. Some confrontation, perhaps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead, Renekton sunk to his knees. The crescent blade fell out of his claw, where it clattered against the glassy ground. He brought his claws up to clutch his head, and he slammed his eyes shut. He was mumbling something, but it was too faint to make out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I did not know how to react. Tentatively, I took a step closer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Renekton’s claws flew suddenly to his curved blade, snatching it up so quickly I had not yet processed what had happened. He brandished the blade at me with one arm, the other still clutching the side of his head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No closer,” he snarled.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I said nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get...away,” he continuted. “Get out of my head....”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I....” Was this still a dream? It felt hauntingly real.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get OUT,” he snarled again, taking deep, gasping breaths as he spoke. “I don’t want to hear your...your whispers...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Frozen in place, I did nothing. My mind was racing. What was happening?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I SAID GET OUT!” Renekton roared at me as he lunged in my direction.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My instinct was to dodge, but something in my brain told me to stay hold my ground. I raised my axe in preparation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steel clashed against steel as I met his blade with my axe. His blow was heavy and clumsy, and in one clean maneuver I twisted the blade out of Renekton’s hands.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Renekton’s blade clattered against the floor, I threw my own axe aside and grabbed Renekton with both arms in a bear hug. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Renekton hugged back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A flurry of emotions flew through my head, so many that not even I could have named them all. Between my arms, my younger brother shook with...were they sobs?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hate you,” Renekton whispered. “I love you. I don’t know. I need you with me. Are you real, Nasus? Or are you another trick?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m real,” I whisper back. I don’t know what we’re doing. I don’t know what’s going on. But things just feel...right. Somehow. “I’m here. Everything is okay. I’m here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Quiet sobs wracked my younger brother’s body, and I’m suddenly reminded of my long-lost childhood. The day our mother died, Renekton had cried in my arms the same way he was doing now. We were very young then.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Renekton has not been a child in so long. He has not been my brother for so long. The wondrous days of our youth were long past, bygone memories of a forgotten age. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We have only cold reality now. My heart aches as I think about Renekton, alone, with nobody to be by his side. Nobody but the whispers in the dark.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Where had I been when he needed me the most?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like a coward, I hid behind an enchanted door as I left my only brother to fend for himself against his demons. He needed me this whole time and I had been absent. My grip on Renekton’s body tightened. I would make things right, for once.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I could care less about my own safety. I could care less about anything. The palace can burn, Shurima can burn, the whole world could burn. I cared not. I knew, somehow, through whatever dream-magic this was, that my brother needed me to be there. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I could not abandon him again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m coming,” I whisper to Renekton. “I’ll be there. I’ll be with you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wake up from the dream, feeling on edge. Again, I think I hear a noise, but I can’t be sure. From behind the door, I hear ragged breathing and quiet whimpers.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I know what must be done now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I get to work on breaking the runic seal. Though I had inlaid this seal myself, it takes me a while to undo the runes. “I’m on my way,” I mutter to myself. “You’re not alone.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I had done enough spectating.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The seal breaks and the door’s green glow fades. I throw open the door.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cowering in the corner of the room is my brother. He’s shaking. I feel a violent rush of emotions in my head, and for a moment my head spins. He looks up at me with crazed eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you real?” he asks me, a desperate edge in his voice. “Are...are you...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rushing to his side, I kneel down and clasp one of his claws with my hands. “I’m real. I’m here. Look at me. I’n real.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nasus?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I give him a fierce hug, not caring that he could hurt me if he loses his mind. I don’t care about anything anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His arms are shaky. His breath comes out in short bursts against my neck. I feel his chest against mine, rising and falling erratically. He’s having a panic attack, or something. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But as I hold him in my arms, I feel his breathing slowly even out. His arms, though uncertain, are no longer so shaky. I feel his body slump against mine, almost as if he’s relaxing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And I realize I made the right choice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This was real.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was here.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was hugging me.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was telling me he’ll be here for me.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And I feel...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...relieved?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don’t know if he’s just a conjuration cooked up by the beautiful voice. He doesn’t feel like one. Perhaps that is what the whisperer wants me to believe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I’ll believe it anyways.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His fur is so soft. His voice is deep and soothing, with a reverberation to it. Memories of him begin to resurface, and rather than the intense pain of recalling memories, I feel serenity. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I relax against Nasus’ body. Maybe I am being fooled. Maybe this is another cruel trick devised by the beautiful voice, to punish me for leaving it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But I’m so tired of not believing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For a long time, we stay in that position, my body against his, our arms interlocked, the words we never say riding our breaths.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For once, things feel right.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For once.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>oops not me forgetting about this...not giving up on this story though x</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This new place is a lot more comfortable than the last.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I am in a room with huge open windows and billowing white curtains. The room is furnished sparingly; besides for a giant bed placed against one wall, the room contained only some seating and many potted trees. Looking out the windows, one could see the entire City of the Sun stretch out below.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nasus had done this, somehow. He had convinced Azir that I was trustworthy enough to be let out of my little dungeon room. I myself was not so convinced.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was still difficult, sometimes, to discern what was real and what wasn’t. I could not remember how long I had been allowed to have this airy suite; my memory was full of holes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There had been a time when I woke up on the floor, surrounded by shattered pottery and shredded curtains, with no memory of what had happened. Nasus had walked in with a sad smile and new plants and curtains to replace the ones that had ended up uprooted on the floor. I couldn’t help but notice that his arms and chest were covered in bleeding cuts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Part of me has wished to return to my little dungeon room deep in the bowels of the palace, where I could hurt nobody but myself. The memory of Nasus, bleeding from his cuts, cuts </span> <span class="s2">I </span> <span class="s1">inflicted, hurt far more than the splitting headaches that I still got every five minutes. It hurt in a way no physical pain could emulate; the kind of pain you feel not with your nerves but with your soul. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nasus visited me frequently, but we never spoke. Speaking hurt, and there was nothing good to say anyways. It was peaceful, in a way; we would sit next to each other, legs dangling out of the window like we were children again. Not touching though; never touching. I was scared that if I touched Nasus, he would shatter like glass and I would be alone again. Maybe this was all a hallucination and touching him would break the trance. I wanted to stay here, even if it wasn’t real. Was it real?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right on cue, Nasus walked into the room. Like usual, we exchanged no words; he gave me a slight smile and I tried to smile back. My face had forgotten what smiling felt like.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was so strange, so surreal, the way we stood at opposite ends of this airy chamber, saying nothing as the desert wind made the curtains dance. Once upon a time, I would’ve hated to be here. The battlefield was where I belonged; I lived not for peace but for bloody battle. That me was gone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment, Nasus padded across the room to sit next to me, on the floor near one of the huge, floor-length windows. He took special care to avoid touching me, giving me a wide berth before settling down in a spot a few centimetres from where I sat.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked not at me, but out the window. The city stretched out below us before the land it was built on dropped down into a large chasm. Far in the distance, on the opposite end of the chasm, the yellow sand of the Shuriman desert stretched on into the horizon.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A playful desert wind danced across my scales and I shivered, not out of cold but out of something else. A strange feeling. I thought I heard a faint sound, and for a second I thought I was being watched. Quickly the feeling faded, but the desert wind continued to blow in my face, agitating the white curtains around me.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I turned to look at Nasus. He was still staring off into the distance, a peaceful look on his face. The sun shone on his face, illuminating his jackal-like features. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of ocean-blue.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just below his eye was a cut. The cut looked deep, though it was scabbed over. I cringed, knowing what the source of that cut was from.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I turned away. A feeling of intense self-loathing washed over me, as I clawed at my own face. Though my head was quickly filling with thoughts, they were all too abstract for me to hold on to for more than a second. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All of a sudden, I felt a furry paw touch my wrist.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nasus had turned in time to see me claw at my own face. His hand wrapped around mine, to stop me from continuing to gouge at myself. His blue eyes were filled with concern and...fear?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I nearly wrest my wrist away from him, but I suppress the urge. Instead, I go stock still, like a terrified deer when it sees a hunter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry,” Nasus said softly, the first words he’s spoken to me since the episode in the dungeon however many days ago that was. “You don’t like to be touched, do you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nasus and I were making contact, and the world had not exploded. Nasus had not disappeared into dust. He was still real.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was still real.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Right?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I take a deep breath before responding. “I...I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry,” he repeats as he begins to loosen his grip. “I just-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t,” I interrupt. “Don’t pull away. Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">My voice cracks a little and an edge of desperation is creeping into it. I hate myself, hate hate </span> <em><span class="s2">hate</span></em> <span class="s1"> myself, for how weak I’ve become. But I can’t help it. Not anymore.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nasus smiles gently and continues to clutch my wrist. He pulls my claw away from my face, and I oblige.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly, his paw shifts down my wrist to finally settle in my hand. His fingers clutch my palm tightly, and I see that his eyes are looking strangely watery.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A warm feeling spreads from my hand throughout the rest of my body. I can’t say I remember feeling this feeling before. It’s a pleasant feeling, like sunlight warming your face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It reminds me of Nasus.</span>
</p>
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